Vintage Books and Boxes

Outside is a blanket of white snow, which gives me every reason not to go out and to spend time in my studio. With all the snow around the light that comes into the studio has changed, making it much brighter which I hope is an indication of how it will be later this year. 

So this week has seen me and the dog spending afternoons in the studio, listening to Harry Potter and going through bags of unfinished projects.  We, that's me and the dog, are deciding which projects are worth completing and which ones should be parked indefinitely.  So socks have been darned, skirt hems altered and buttons re-attached. 

I have also been messing around with patchwork, making panels which will eventually be used in some bigger projects and knitting a rainbow mohair shawl.  Getting the sewing machine out and working has been a real step forward and I look forward to developing new ideas when I feel more inspired.

Besides sorting through the projects I have also had a good rummage through my sewing boxes, of which after years of auctions and car boot sales, I have a great many.  The joy of wooden cotton reels, packets of needles and tins of buttons transports me back to my Nans as she made costumes for amateur dramatics and dance studios. Vintage fabric which is made to last - no disposable fashion when it was made.  Pin cushions filled with emery, no plastic foam or filling in them and a reassuring crunch as pins and needles are pushed in and kept bright and sharp.

Not everything has been so positive though as I have had a few bad nights and some days when even getting out of bed has been impossible, such is the nature of depression and fibromyalgia.  The levels of pain invade every part of me, even making my hair hurt.  In an attempt to keep myself from dwelling in the dark I have spent time re-reading nostalgic "girls" fiction from my childhood.  Immersing myself in the likes of Malory Towers, Abbey Girls and others I have been transported away from my life and into one of my and the authors imagination. 

Part of the steps forward for me is to start to write down each day, or when I can, things that I am grateful for.  At the moment it is relatively easy as there are a great many things that I am grateful for, such as family and friends but as time goes on I know that this will be much harder and will mean looking at negatives and trying to see the good in the bad.